14 month old refusing to breastfeed

by Gina
(Palm Coast, FL)

Hello,

I'm desperately looking for support on extended breastfeeding. My daughter is now 14 months old and was nursing 4x/day up until 2 weeks ago. Her molars are coming in and I believe that is where the trouble started. She was horribly congested for a week (doctor confirmed no illness or ear infections) but continued to nurse. Then she all of a sudden started refusing the right side for a few days. Now, she's even dropped nursing sessions, so we're down to 2 times a day and ONLY on the left side! She woke up screaming from her nap today, so I'm assuming the teeth are still bothering her. I just don't know how long this strike can go on for...unless it's weaning? Which I certainly hope not! But I've tried nursing in different positions, I tried casually offering to nurse (as to not force it on her)...and it ends up with her either biting me or screaming and jumping off my lap. I don't even sit in the nursing chair anymore because she'll look at me (with my shirt off) and turn and walk out of the room! It's a totally different child! I'm trying to pump to maintain my supply, but I really can't get much out anymore these days. Any advice? Can I continue to nurse on just one side?? Or is there hope that she will take the right side again? (At bedtime, she'll at least allow me to switch her to the right side, she puts the nipple in her mouth, but then backs off).

I feel like what used to be a positive relationship has turned into a painful, negative experience for her now. How do I get back to "good"? Thank you for your time! ~Gina

Answer from the lactation consultant
Nursing strikes can be extremely fatiguing. Hang in there mommy!
I have some suggestions:
1. If she wakes screaming from sleep again, the first suggestion is to have her ears checked yet again. Even if they were fine a week ago (or a day ago), refusing to suck and waking from sleep are indicators of ear pain. (the pressure in the ears increases when sucking and lying flat).

2. Have you tried offering her ibuprofen or tylenol for the teething pain. Often this does the trick. I used to recommend hylands teething tablets but the pharmaceuticals had them removed from the market. A natural remedy is arnica if you would prefer to go that route.


3. Have you tried lying down to nurse? Taking her into a dark room and lying down with her (at naptime and such) to reduce the stimuli. Often toddlers simply get too busy and do not want to sit to feed.

4. Other positions? Like her sitting straight up in your lap? if it is ear pain, this position will be more comfortable to her.

5. It could be that your milk supply has dwindled on that side and she simply does not want to "suck for nothing". Milk stimulating herbs usually do not work well at this stage of lactation. The best way to boost your supply is to do some power pumping sessions. Here is a page on how to do it:more info on power pumping .

Have you considered other culprits for lowered supply: menstrual cycle, anemia, thyroid issues, pregnancy, strenuous exercise. Still doing the basics: taking prenatal vitamins, drinking 8-10 glasses of water a day, minimal caffeine, eating a minimum of 1800 calories/day.
Just covering all the bases.

One thing we know for sure is that she is teething. So you know the teething will not last forever, right? So, if all the above suggestions do not help, then nurse what you can and when the pain is gone, she should go back to feeding more frequently. BUT, she may not. And nursing twice a day, may not be as much as you want, but it may be what you get. It does not mean the end of breastfeeding, just means you have to re-adjust mentally/psychologically.

I nursed DD#2 till she was two and she went through phases similar to yours when she got teeth. But within 7-10 days she was back to nursing 2-3 times a day and frequently through the night.

Don't give up, we'll figure this out. Keep me posted. And if you have any further questions, just add them to the comments section of this question, and I will answer them there.

Liz Pevytoe, RN, IBCLC